but the sky is empty

And I swear lately time has come alive to chase me, and I promise I don’t mean to be cruel but I can’t help but run. You have to understand I didn’t mean to leave you, but you scared me. You brought me to a place I don’t know how to breathe in.

Can you sit me down and tell me why I should stay? Can you wipe the blood from my eyes and help me off my bruised knees?

If only I had someone like you again to tell me what to do, what to think, how to feel because I think there’s something wrong with me, with us. Like maybe my heart is backwards and my soul’s inside out.

What do you think? Tell me what to think. If I stop running, do you promise to be kind? If I lay down and close my eyes, will you be there to deal with the nightmares?

I’m sorry. I did it again. I scared you away, didn’t I?

Okay then, my turn. Open your eyes and let me crawl in, on my hands and knees, I’ll curl back up. Back to when I was small, when the body wasn’t just mine and our time stayed behind.

I read once that love is like watching someone die. I cried and you rubbed my back while I wished I was different. Love is exactly like watching someone die. Love is watching yourself die over and over again with a hand on your heart.

Please don’t be mad. Please look at me, see yourself, and understand. Laugh at the sky as you realize what’s been done to you, to us. All I did and all I’ve ever done is mimic and mock and practice what’s been taught. Weep with joy, fall to your knees, and forgive me. Forgive me for all I’ve done and all I’ve to do. Mark my skin and break my heart as you wish but please don’t be mad at me.

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Edited by: Rachel Goulston

Cover Photo: Ashyra Barnett